My tour of duty is done. I'm heading home.

Today is a significant milestone in my deployment. It was 180 days ago today I arrived in Afghanistan.
I did not give it much thought until I was sitting outside my room this morning and soaked in what going on around me. Fighter aircraft and helicopters were taking off on combat missions; a unit was conducting permission checks on their weapons and vehicles before heading out to some village to the north of here; and there was construction vehicles working on a new cargo pad.
It was the construction site that drew my attention. They were prepping the same area where our original living quarters use to stand when we first arrived in country. Now all that has changed.
And I asked myself, “what has changed in my life over the past 180 days?”
I can honestly say I am not the same person I was when I got here on 4 Nov 2009. Spiritually, physically, and mentally I have changed.
Spiritually, well this is new territory for me. I was raised Catholic, but did not really give it much thought. For reasons unknown to me, I stopped going to church shortly before entering the military in 1995.
It was not until 13 Oct 09 that I realized how much I needed God back in my life. That was the day I was completely broken down by life’s circumstances. Since then, and with continual support and prayers of some close friends and family, my faith has grown by the day.
Attending ChapelNext on Sundays and Bible studies on Thurs have kept me grounded. Through God, my perspective on life has changed.
Physically, I have learned to push the limits of my body (x3 surgeries on my lower back--it's fused L4 – S1) and overall I’m stronger now than I was in my early 20s. As for my cardiovascular condition, I have reached a totally new level of endurance.
It started when I ran in the New Year’s Eve 5K. 28 degrees and running in full sweats, I finished in 28:24--had to walk a bit after the 2.5 mile mark. Needless to say, I was a bit peeved. Since then, I have run in four more 5Ks, improving my time on every run. Last one was this past weekend where I finished in 22:02.
The importance of physical fitness in my life has changed.
Mentally, I have had to deal with a lot, both professionally and personally. Being deployed in a combat environment, you quickly come to grips with the fact you have no control over what happens.
Professionally, all you can do is roll with the punches and react according to training and quick wits.
Personally, you realize you can do very little about decisions made or events that happen 10,000 miles away. I have had to fight daily to deal with the mission at hand along with the feeling of helplessness as life back home continued to change.
Mentally, my focus on the important things in life has changed.
This morning also brought me back to a conversation I had with a friend last week over a cup of coffee. She told me when she left home her life was one way. Now when she returns in a couple months, it will be very different.
I feel the same way.
So, what has changed in my life over the past 6 months?
Everything.
Drugs, both illegal and prescription abuse, are a problem here at Bagram.
We continually run into hashish, meth, steroids, cocaine, heroin and pain killers. With a large population of civilian contractors and local nationals, as well as new and inventive ways to hide them in mail, there seems to be an endless supply chain.
And demand is high (no pun intended).
Last week, this was sent through the mail in a care package. At 1.792 pounds, it was one of the largest finds we've had during our tour. In fact, this is the third such find in a span of 3 months.
Ironically, all 3 packages were addressed to me.
Yes, my mom sent another batch of her home-made fudge. It made a huge "thud" when we dropped it on the drug scale. This fudge is SO GOOD, my guys have dubbed it "Black Tar Heroin." One piece is never enough ...
We are always thankful when she sends some. We're even more thankful when it's gone. Raises hell on a diet, but cheating has never tasted so good.
THANKS MOM! You're the greatest.
Flat Stanley Has Nothing On Jenna"The Picture"
Went on my 8th mission the other day. It was significant for two reasons: 1) it was my last mission outside of Bagram; and 2) when I returned, my replacement was here. Oh happy days!
Like all the other missions I went on, this one had a couple of special moments.
We flew via CH-47 helicopters in a 2-ship formation to Pol-e 'Alam, south of Kabul. The ride was a blast, lasting just over two hours and taking us on a race track route to four other operating bases before we reached Forward Operating Base Shank.
Changing altitudes and directions at random intervals, we were able to avoid any ground fire from the little mountain men below. Our special passenger had a great time; a beautiful black Labrador, part of a military working dog team. If dogs love sticking their heads out car windows, sticking their head out the back of a helo flying about 1,000ft off the deck must have been pure heaven.
Pol-e 'Alam is 7,000ft up; a mere 500ft higher than Bagram. I was not expecting to experience any problems with regard to maneuvering in full gear at this slightly higher altitude. I was wrong.
One of the first places we visited was the highest point on Shank to get an overview of the entire base. From the bottom of the hill, it looked like an easy climb; only 45 sandbag steps to the top. We hit it at a quick pace reaching the top in not time. Only problem was in full kit (over 80lbs of gear--body armor, weapons and ammo) I was completely winded once we reached the top. I thought I was in pretty good shape; I was proven wrong. I developed a new found respect for all the Soldiers, Marines and Afghans who fight in the mountains at these higher altitudes daily.
Our mission went off without a hitch, even completing our objectives early. The bonus came when we found an Afghan bakery on post. Flat bread and hot tea. Nothing beats it around here.
Upon return to Bagram a couple days later, I met my replacement. The end is near :)
Sun sets on March 2010
This mission was special for a couple of reasons. First, it was my last trip back to Jalalabad. Second, it was my last flight on a Blackwater Aviation STOL aircraft. After 15 flights, always sitting in the same emergency row (seat 4A), I was ready to say good ridden. So, goodbye tail number N150RN. I never felt safe flying in you and you never failed to give me new and interesting mechanical noises to ponder as we flew over the Hindu Kush.
Forward Operating Base Fenty, Jalalabad
J back in J'bad
Sizing up his new toy
Memories
STOL N150RN
This past weekend was without a doubt the longest and most tasking (mentally, physically and emotionally) since I’ve been in country. Thanks to my strong faith in God and the support of family, close friends and comrades, I made it through and continue press forward.
It started with an unusual mission to Kabul. It was suppose to be a quick in and out training mission. While we got the training done, there were a few surprises waiting for us. These provided a new sense of adrenaline rush and fear I had not experienced before.
First one came when the regular US convoy we were going to catch from Kabul Int to our destination was cancelled. Luck intervened when we were able to attach ourselves to a British convoy heading to ISAF HQ—close to where we needed to go. Like most intra-city convoys, it was in armored SUVs. The British were professional to say the least and once we received the mission brief (what to do if attacked, local threats, etc.), we were ready to roll. By this time it was dark, around 6PM.
Difference between a day-time and night-time convoy is obvious—you can’t see very well at night. Your senses go into over-drive as you adjust to this limitation. One of the threats, don’t laugh, was a DBIED (donkey borne improvised explosive device).
Off we went, speeding through Kabul; our trail vehicle performing an impromptu ballet swerving back and forth at distances ranging from 30 feet to less than a foot behind us, keeping the constant flow of Afghan vehicles from passing us. Good tactic if you’re moving; useless when you’re in a traffic jam. Sure enough, a donkey cart passed us while we were stuck. A few tense moments later, we were moving again. Plowing through the streets at varying speeds we finally reached our destination. After sitting in the middle of a busy road waiting for about five nerve-racking minutes, the huge gates to the compound finally opened. Drive time, 50 minutes.
Now we had to get to our final destination, a compound about a mile away. Our only choice, a foot-patrol.
We pushed off into the dimly lit streets of Kabul. Shortly after leaving the safe confines of HQ, a group of local kids joined us. “I your body guard” one kid says and takes up position on my left. The others swarmed like bees around our formation, asking for money and whatever gear we would give them. Outside of the fear of the unknown, the mile went by quickly and we arrived at our destination safely.
My "body guard," who was very efficient at keeping the others away from my gear (or so I thought), finally whispers to me, “you have one dollar, just one dollar?” I told him no. His response, “maybe tomorrow.” Yeah right kid, maybe tomorrow. It was not until later during an equipment check did I realize the little swarm managed to steal one of my carabineers used to attach my helmet when not worn. Have no idea how they got it seeing as I’m 6ft and they were maybe 4ft max. It was secured near the top of my back body armor plate by my neck. Damn, those kids were good.
The next morning we had to get back to Kabul Int, and again all US convoys were cancelled. So this time we joined an Australian team heading there to drop off supplies. Same type of mission brief as the day before and we were off. This time in the lead vehicle. One thing that sucks about armored vehicles is they are so heavy, the shocks wear out quickly. Found this out the hard way when we hit the first of many pot-holes, slamming my head up into the roof. Thank goodness for helmets. When all was said and done, no fewer than a half dozen helmet checks occurred. Don’t ask about seatbelts.
Mid morning traffic was not bad so we reached our target gate in about 10 minutes. Problem was the Afghan police had closed it. Acting quickly the convoy commander chose a small side road leading into a nearby village. Imagine driving through narrow streets (about 12ft wide) in large SUVs never meant to fit on these roads, at break neck speeds to minimize chances of becoming easy targets. Helmet check. In such close confines, our heads were constantly on a swivel, looking for threats on roof tops, in the streets and alley ways. Adrenaline quickly takes over.
Now it’s never good when the two phrases you hear frequently are “F#ck Mate, that was close” and “I hope there’s a left turn around here somewhere.” We got lost twice and had to double back. Not good in Indian country. Finally we caught a glimpse of the airport perimeter through a break in the buildings and snaked our way back to safety. Once we dismounted, I overheard the convoy commander say “when I see so and so, I’m gonna punch him in the face for suggesting that route” (colorful language deleted). Travel time, 40 exhausting minutes.
After waiting around for 7 hours and enduring a rocket attack on the airport, we finally got on a C-130 and returned home.
That night, I received some devastating news. God and friends are helping me through that one.
Early the next morning, the base was hit by a salvo of rockets. One tragically found its mark. We responded to find one corner of a living quarters destroyed. Inside was an unfortunate soul who happened to be sleeping in his bed when the rocket hit less than two feet away. Our job was to search and secure the scene for the experts to come out and do their thing. Took about an hour. Then the body was removed. Yet another image burned in my memory. Found out later he was due to go home soon and get married.
I experienced all the above in a time span of 48hrs.
My reality check? This is a dangerous place where things often change on you in an instant and you better be ready for it. You surrender all control. You trust in God.
Often wash up after long rain showers (two just above sign)
Friendly reminder
On the roof of KAF PMO bldg
Trust is everything
And he still passed.